Health – mind over body

Been to quack and having blood tests this week.

Rather suspect the diagnosis will be fibromyalgia – a dump term when they can’t find anything wrong with you. This topic seems to have become a mecca for new age quackery cashing in. Don’t get me wrong, I love essential oils and believe in the placebo effect, but anything else I take with a shovel of salt.

Sadly the pain is real – muscle/skeletal – not much fun when you literally can’t get out of bed because neck/back and arms/hands aren’t cooperating and you know how a turtle on its back feels. Olga Korbet would be proud of me as I wrestle to put my socks on in the morning. True, I need to shed a few pounds (I’m size 16) and I can’t afford to go to the gym (nor have a car to get there).and its pitiful and painful to kneel down to do any cleaning.

I’ve dropped the antidepressants (and also the OCP), so my body is getting free of all those nasty chemicals. One horrible incident set me back to my old patterns of sleep, and frankly I’ve come to the conclusion that chemicals can’t undo the harm, when something external sets off a panic attack.

I’m even detoxing from my mother, to regain my self worth and sense of self again. I can’t wish her a happy new year,because I wouldn’t mean it. I’m sick of her gloating at my situation and using me as a captive audience. She phoned to ask if I could do with an extra £40 for Christmas? As of 4/1/13 I’m still waiting, having once again had my hopes raised and dashed.


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