Choose life……

So… nothing to report.

Jobs seem to be a lot scarer on the ground – even Avon isn’t pyramid recruiting on Universal Job Match.
The Scanning administrator’s job has just done another round on at least two job sites (it doesn’t exist), but I applied for it again to keep the JobbyCentre happy.

I’ve applied for 27 jobs, had three rejections and no further job interviews.

The personnel officer at the bank sounded pissed off that I’d contacted him as to a start date. Oh,good news— other people were starting, but he hadn’t got a start date for ME.

    Excuse me for breathing…..and messing around the other people I have to deal with beforehand eg travel pass voucher, clothes voucher for trousers, I need a haircut, etc
    So,Still no start date for the job – like my so called supportive family they think I exist on fresh air…

    When I was dumped and they’d waved me off at University in 1984, they left me with absolutely no money and despite begging her, mother had failed to open me a bank account, in time or at the correct branch. My student grant cheque was three days away and a further three days or so in order for it to go into my account. I also had hall fees to pay and a students fare where I needed to buy stuff for my course there and then,like a dissection kit for botany (theses were the days pre internet). My family had also bought me an insulated cool box (that I never asked for, wanted,nor needed) for food, but had neglected to buy the freezable blue blocks to go with said..they didn’t say you needed them – so I wondered why my bread went mouldy…
    I give you a moment to reflect the above, and the why I never,ever want to go home. Well meaning people are fundamentally, stupid and their thoughtlessness can kill people (not just by toxins growing on bread).
    Sadly as time has gone on,both grandparents died, my brother grew into a controlling psychopath,sponging off ‘mummy’ and the state (despite him boasting about the size of his IQ) and a match for my weak,narcissistic, passive -aggressive mother.
    Whilst Mommie dearest looks for some good in my brother- that does not exist, she is an easy target to be manipulated by him.
    She claimed she’d been ‘forced’ into buying,by my brother a holiday home in Scotland. The fact she had this money and pleaded poverty for years, and forced me to dress in peculiar homemade clothes(which made me even more isolated and bullied) makes me both sad and angry. The house stands empty and is very,very poorly served by any public transport. I think they’ve owned it for five years (I wasn’t to know about it, or my brother would get angry) and stayed in it less than three weeks in total…what a f@cking waste when there are people,like me, desperate for a roof over their head.
    So I have theses two lovely people standing over me like Solomon passing judgement as to whether mother could just loan me one,lousy months credit card installment payment, to tide me over until my new job starts.

    Given all this I’ve also got problems over being potentially made homeless in the coming few weeks/months.
    SOmeone made an offer on the house…how much, I don’t know,but I suspect it’s those parasite property developers, who want to screw over some tenants.
    Never met a poor developer yet, so it’s the asking price or nothing from them, based on the years of fear and doing without I’ve done to pay someone elses RENT.
    I still don’t know exactly how, let alone where I’m supposed to move on to.
    Apparently that’s not the problem of
    1) my non communicative ex-husband, (as long as he gets his money),
    2)the estate agents (who are useless),
    3)the solicitor /court order (who walked over me and took their legal aid leaving me high and dry)
    4)my ‘family’, who ‘think’ the council are going to put me (and the dog and two cats) in s NICE home with a lovely garden….
    5) my oldest friend, ironically a solicitor, who was sorry bad things were happening to me and know I deserved better from life – I mean how frigging hell is that supposed to solve anything?

    All of this dear reader, shows us how much very alone we are in the world.
    No one gives a crap….move on, nothing to read here….back to your cosy life.

    Seven years ago I was doing a degree, I was solvent, I had a car and a husband…..but because his ‘bit on the side’s’ legs wasn’t open for business….
    he left, served me with divorce papers (unreasonable behaviour on my part because I wouldn't let him carry on with this slapper!) and a court gave him a percentage of the house, the house that I paid off the mortgage on in full, whilst the misely little worm had an endowment policy that wouldn’t cover said mortgage.
    Like the runs of a ladder falling away I was let down by everybody – the legal system,so called friends, a weak family, the benefits system and my only voice is blog whining about not being able to get a job…

    I did nothing wrong as far as I could see.
    All I ever wanted from life was a job that I didn’t dread going to, my own roof over my head, food in the fridge and to be left alone with my cats and dog. Wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?


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